What’s happened over the last few months? Well, as you get older, less and less happens. I can’t remember the last time I got on my bike, and it’s only two years old. I’ve gone from walking for at least an hour every day to the odd day here and there. I would call it enforced laziness! The old bones get creakier and ache most of the time, frequently giving you some pain. There’s not a lot you can do only grin and bear it. I just keep smiling and trying to avoid taking any drugs to alleviate the discomfort.
My wife Kate is still not too well with the various ailments she has to put up with. Some months ago she was placed under hospice care at home. The hospice people brought around all sorts of medical equipment: electric bed, wheel chair, nebulizer, etc. The medicines they prescribe come free, but they are only pills to alleviate pain or discomfort. The rest of them, in fact the majority, go through our medical insurance as usual. A nurse comes to see her every week and two therapists come at various times to give her exercises and massage. A friend, Fritz, knocked on the door a few weeks back and said how sorry he was to hear the news about Kate. I asked what he meant. He said, “I heard she had died.” I shouted Kate and said, “Fritz thinks you’re dead.” She called out to Fritz and told him she was feeling quite good for someone who was dead.
It’s rather ironic that a few weeks later Fritz collapsed in his house and couldn’t move. His wife called for an ambulance and he was taken into hospital. It seems he had a stroke which kept him in the hospital for quite a few weeks. He is paralyzed down his left side but not his mouth. He is home now but is still paralyzed. He had a fall a week ago and I told his wife to call the fire brigade and they will help him up. I know this because I have had to call them out twice to help me with Kate when she fell.
I was going out through the side door in the garage recently, as I opened the door there was a snake facing the door. I instinctively put my foot out to try and get it to move away. No, he decided he wanted to come into my garage, so he slithered over my outstretched foot and went straight in. It is surprising how quick they can move. It was only a black snake and they are not poisonous but even so seeing it there surprised me. It was about three feet long and disappeared inside the garage. For the next week or so when I had to go into the garage, particularly at night, I would put on the light and gingerly have a look around. I have not seen it since, although there was one at the side of my house recently, but at soon as I got close to it off it scooted. I checked up and found that only (what ONLY?) six of Florida’s 44 snake species are venomous: the eastern coral snake, the southern copperhead, the cottonmouth, the eastern diamondback rattlesnake, the timber rattlesnake, and the dusky pygmy rattlesnake. Most Florida snakes are harmless and beneficial and remove extra rodent populations. Just so long as they stay away from me I don’t mind.
On further research I found this out. The Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnakes are the largest (about six feet in length), most dangerous and most feared venomous snake, not only in Florida, but also in the whole of North America. It has a bite mortality rate ranging from 10-30%. An average bite can deliver 400-450 milligrams of venom, with an estimated human lethal dose of only 100-150 milligrams. They’re not endangered, but dwindling habitat is a threat to them. If you come across a 6-foot rattler, keep in mind that it can strike from a distance of 4 feet, about as long as a typical shovel. This rattler has a series of brown diamonds with yellowish-borders down its back. Because of its size and vivid colours, it’s the easiest venomous snake to identify. I don’t know why I bothered to find this out! No wonder I don’t go walking as much as I used to.
The weather has been absolutely gorgeous for the last couple of months. The temperature every day has been getting up to and even into the mid-nineties Fahrenheit. One day it got to 103 degrees, a little unusual. But then that is why Florida is named the Sunshine State.
What do you call a Scouser (someone from Liverpool) on a brand-new ride-on lawnmower? No, not a thief. The owner. I bought it in June when Fritz, who I mentioned above, had his stroke. He used to cut my grass for me. Now that I don’t drive all over the country any more I thought this was a good time to cut my own grass. It’s also an electric one so I feel as if I am helping the environment. Am I, who the hell knows?
The price of petrol has started to fall at last. The average in Florida is at $3.79 a gallon. This is equivalent to £0.83 a litre. A lot less than you are paying in England. On that cheery note I will end.
Best wishes, Jack
Hello Jack, Excellent to hear from you, and that you still have your sense of humour – as if you would ever lose it! But sorry to hear about Kate – other than that your sense of humour has obviously caught on. I think I last saw a snake, about nine inches long, in Holt Country park 30 years ago. I’ll bear in mind what you said should I encounter any of your big beggars. Coincidentally, what should I read in today’s ‘EDP’ but a snake story? Your new Grass Limousine looks very impressive. If you lived nearer Norwich, I could find you a few jobs to do. I’m glad someone likes petrol prices – we’ll leave that for now
All the very best, and keep at it. Reg.